Script:
The British are coming! The British are coming! And there it was… The first great American yell.

Echoing like a sonic boom across history.

This country didn’t tiptoe onto the world stage. - Hell no.

We kicked down the door with all the subtlety of a cannon blast.

We were born loud.

Born with that unmistakable American sound.

Part war cry, part victory lap, part “watch this.”

Liberty is loud, baby. Always has been. Always will be.

Loud isn’t just about volume. It’s dreams that won’t stay bottled up.

Or be muzzled by good manners.

It’s the roar of American thunder.

Engines that cut through the static and speak directly to that loud, proud, impossible American soul.

Something to say? Say it.

Something to prove? Prove it.

Something to ride? Ride it straight into the history books.

Because quiet won’t get you anywhere.

In this country: In Loud We Trust.

The slogan is a direct play on “In God We Trust,” the official U.S. national motto. This is a secular cheapening of a phrase intended to amplify the reality that we are one nation, under God.

Setting aside my feelings for a moment, let’s consider the content. Is it true that in loud we trust?

What about the still small voice?

What about the power of the whisper or even the silence?

Do we have to be loud to be heard?

Is yelling really better than quiet considerate conversation or deliberation?

Is this who we want to be and who we want to become?

This isn’t about being offended by every little thing but this is about being culturally aware and attuned to what’s going on around us. They wouldn’t have included it in an ad if they didn’t think it would resonate – provoke people to say “hell yes” and consider buying a Ram if they’re in the market for a new vehicle.

The Bible literally says, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God” (Psalm 20:7) What is a truck if not a modern day chariot and what is the image of Paul Revere’s midnight ride if not on a horse?

It feels like a reminder of Elijah’s experience recorded in First Kings is in order. When the prophet Elijah was hiding in a cave, God revealed Himself not through the LOUD but through something no louder than a whisper.

“And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.” — 1 Kings 19:11-12

So, “In Loud We Trust” or “In God We Trust,” which will it be? And by the answer, who are We the People becoming?

Are you small, medium, large, extra large? Tall? Petite?

Are you big or little? Short or tall?

What size are you?

There are so many ways to answer that question, right?

Well, here’s one: I’m day size…and so are you.

Many people imagine they are something other than day size, but there’s no escaping it. We are built to live one day at a time. It is one of the ways we know we are human. We live one day at a time. That’s the size we are. Day size.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talks about our day size when he counsels us not to worry about tomorrow. Matthew 6:34 records Jesus saying, “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” There it is: day size.

Psalm 90 verse 12 asks God to “teach us to number our days, that we might gain a heart of wisdom.” The value of every day is hard to weigh and when a day is gone, it’s gone forever. Literally history. And if we’re blessed to awaken the next day, we have precious few hours to spend on the one non-renewable resource of this gift we call life.

What will you do with the day? What will you make of it? How will you spend it? No measure of it should be spent worrying, Jesus says, deal with the trouble of today and that will be enough. We cannot control the future anyway. So, our attention should be trained upon the present - the present moment, the present circumstances, the present opportunities, the present presence of the living God. He is not day sized! And that’s worth spending part of the day considering!

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:22-23.

God’s grace and forgiveness are given fresh every morning, designed to last just for that day, and He never runs out. Think about that! God knows we are day size and He provides for us every day.

Maybe that was part of the lesson of the manna in the wilderness. Remember that? In Exodus 16 we read about how the Israelites survived as they wandered in the wilderness. Day after day after day, the people of God ate the bread that fell from heaven— literally their daily bread. He commanded them to gather only enough for one day at a time to develop within them a daily rhythm of dependence upon God. As we pray the Lord’s Prayer, “give us this day our daily bread,” we echo that confidence in God’s provision and our daily dependence on Him.

If there’s something in your life that seems bigger than the day, I invite you to turn it over to God. He can handle it and He knows you’re day-sized. He made you that way. And He cares for you as His little one.

Whatever day you’re living through right now, there’s also this: by tomorrow, it will be a brand new day. We live this day in light of another day. A day that’s coming when the worries of this day will be no more. Until that day, I’ll be praying for you day by day and trust that you’ll do the same for me.

Blessings on this day from one day-sized child of God to another…..

Carmen

Carmen’s Reading List:

In this case, we should say listening list, because Malcolm Guite’s Galahad and the Grail is the first of a four-part epic ballad, and it is meant to be read aloud.

Malcolm spoke with me recently on The Reconnect, during which he read aloud the prelude (or, the call to “take up the tale”). If you listen, you will see what he means, that some words are just not “alive on the flat page…. but need to be woken up and breathed into being by human voice.” What a gift!

He also talks about recovering the biblical connects at the center of the King Arthur stories and how we can each take part in “un-disenchanting” our modern era by reviving wonder:

“I don’t think we need to re-enchant the world. I think the world is as enchanted as ever. God has filled it with beauty and that beauty rouses a desire for us, what C.S. Lewis calls the yearning for the far off country. We want somehow to get to where the beauty comes from.”

Read or listen to my interview with Malcolm Guite:

Keeping up with Carmen…

In Brook, Indiana

I had the occasion to be with my sister in Brook, IN, where our dad is buried alongside his parents. I was 15 when he died, and Mother’s Day weekend has always been shadowed by that fact. But this year was very redemptive as we celebrated a family wedding in the next generation Fowlers. I am very thankful.

The photo of our hands on his gravestone is important to me because after my dad died, my mom had rings made for my sister and I that replicate the only ring my dad ever wore.

In case you missed it:

This month I published a three-part series, Tying the Knot, looking at marriage and what the Bible says about God’s love for us.

Finances, relationships, health concerns, anxiety related to aging or dying? What is causing stress in our body and in your relationships? Are the choices of someone you love causing you stress or distress? Maybe its the relentless demands of technology or doomscrolling. Maybe your stress comes from external demands for perfection that you’ve internalized over time or a false view of God that’s actually causing you angst instead of His intended peace.

Healthcare costs, chronic illness or the caregiving you’re providing to someone you love. Maybe your stress is relational – family estrangement, infertility, frustrations with someone in your home or someone you love who is not only living far from you but far from the Lord. Whatever your source of stress or distress today, let’s take it together to the Lord.

Where in the word are you today?? (Letting God speak to us through that which He has already spoken: His living and eternal Word)

Our Growing Your Faith Verse today is... Psalm 118:5-6 - In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?

David models here the only place we really have to turn in our stress and distress: “In my distress, I prayed to the Lord.”

What might it look like to “take it to the Lord in prayer” today?

And what might it look like for the Lord to answer you and set you free? (there are a range of options here)

David talks to himself here: The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. Including the fear of other people and what they might do to me.

Stress and distress warp our sense of reality – of who God is, His very present help in times of trouble – and stress and distress also have the isolating effect of making us feel as if God does not care but also that other people are out to get us. We get isolated and paranoid. We hide our challenges from the people who might be in a position to help.

So today, I encourage you: in your distress, pray to the Lord.

Trust Him to answer – maybe in ways or timing that you did not expect -

Trusting that the Lord is for you – moving forward in faith and not fear.

Sometimes there is a person who joins me on the show and it just absolutely delights my heart. Malcolm Guite is one of those people. He is an absolutely unique brother in Christ. If you’re not already familiar with him, you can find out more about him and his work at malcolmgit.wordpress.com.

I spoke with him about his newest release, The Galahad and the Grail, Vol 1, the first of four-part epic ballad.

Here is an excerpt of my conversation with Malcolm, but I would encourage you to listen to the full interview via podcast. In the audio, you will hear Malcolm read the prelude to The Galahad and the Grail— the call to “take up the tale.” He also shares more about the inspiration from his mother who was reciting poetry on the last day of her life. And he further opens up for us the biblical connections of the Arthur character. This is absolutely an interview meant to be listened to out loud (as you will note near the end of this excerpt)!

Carmen: First of all, this is a storyline that you are pulling forward— Galahad is a character that will be familiar. Merlin is a character that will be familiar. Talk with us about the tale that you are taking up and then you really kind of describe it as a baton.

Malcolm: Every sort of hundred years or so, this story needs to be told again and remembered. Now the tale I’m taking up was given to me by my mother. Some of my happiest memories as a child were my mother telling me the stories of King Arthur and the knights of the round table and especially the stories about Galahad and the quest for the Holy Grail. So they’ve always been very special and numerous to me and lovely.

But when I was studying them more deeply at university at Cambridge in the ‘70s and we had the whole sort of dry, dull, reductive, secular narrative trying to airbrush all the spiritual and specifically Christian things out of our culture was going on at the time. And I felt even in the treatments of Arthur. The Arthur stories have obviously got wonderful magical elements like the Ladies of the Lake and Swords and Stones and things like that and Merlin, but they’re all sorted around the Christian year.

The chief adventures happen at Christmas and Pentecost. Galahad is the Pentecost knight. And of course right at the core of the Holy Grail, the full myth is that it was brought to England by Joseph of Arimathea who of course features in all the gospels and is the person who gave his grave to Jesus.

Although in a way he stands in for all of us as the old hymn says, “What may I say? Heav’n was his home, but mine the grave wherein He lay.”1

Anyway, really the early Arthur of the medieval stories are about how the coming of the Christian story actually threw a kind of special light on the pre-Christian stories of our Island and some things had to go, but other things found their true fulfillment. There’d always been stories about magical cups and vessels, but now the true one had come. There’d always been stories about a dying and a rising God, but now the true one had come.

And I felt the way the story’s being told nowadays, all that’s been left out. So I wanted to recover that sort of shimmering Christian center to the story.

Carmen: I love that. I appreciate that you not only write it in poetic form, but you encourage us to read it out loud. So I want you to address two things. One, you mentioned that you have this goal of un-disenchanting the world. So I want you to talk about that and then I want you to talk about also why it’s important that we read this out loud.

Malcolm: So to start, talk about un-disenchanting. It’s a slightly clumsy word, but I’ve used it quite often because there’s a lot of people at the moment who are talking about re-enchanting the world. And I really understand their desire to do that because since the arrival of sort of reductive material philosophy in the wake of a certain kind of reluctant analytic science, it’s as though the world has suddenly— we murder to a dissect and the Poet Keats said that Newton and his optics had somehow unwoven the rainbow. People were losing their sense of wonder. Now, there’s no reason why they should have done it.

Actually, there’s a lot of science that should increase your sense of wonder. And my sense of wonder at the amazing way God has made the world is deeply increased by the present Artemis moon mission. It doesn’t reduce things, but there has been, certainly in the way both science and culture were taught in school when I was a boy, there was a sense that we’ve explained everything away and I think we haven’t explained everything away.

I think we may know much more about the heavens now, but we’ve forgotten that the main thing about them, which is that they declare the glory of the Lord and show forth his handiwork. So there’s been an attempt.

I don’t think we need to re-enchant the world. I think the world is as enchanted as ever. God has filled it with beauty and that beauty rouses a desire for us, what C.S. Lewis calls the yearning for the far off country. We want somehow to get to where the beauty comes from.

And I think the revival of interest in wonder and marvel and enchantment, some Christians are a little suspicious of it because they think it’s all to do with some kind of neopagan magic. But actually, I think it’s good news for the church. Quite a few of the people who started on that Neopagan root have actually now become Christians because they’ve found where it’s all coming from and Martin Shaw would be a good example of that.

So that’s partly what I’m trying to do is recover that meaning-drenched, beauty-laden view of the world. But the other thing about the reason for reading it out loud and the reason for writing in a poetic form, if we’re going to try and recover, if you like, an enchantment, un-disenchant ourselves. Well, the word chant is inside the word enchantment. And I think there’s something special about poetry, especially strongly rhythmic and rhyming poetry of the kind I’m writing here. You’ll have had a little taste of it in that Prelude I read that kind of reconnects the heart and the head. It opens the mind up in a new way. It’s not like scanning a text or scrolling through some quick prose. And I think if you sound it out, you’re tasting it with your whole body. I think all poetry is really meant to be read aloud.

I don’t think it’s alive on the flat page. I think it has to be woken up and breathed into being by human voice.

Maybe you walked the aisle in the past but you recognize it’s time to renew your vows. And maybe you’re wondering if God really wants to tie the knot again.

Two words: Yes! and Amen!

Like a hopeful groom on bended knee, not begging for your hand but filled with hope you’ll love him as he loves you and commit to him as he has committed to you, God proposes a union with you that reaches from here to eternity. Will you accept His offer? Will you take His name and live with Him in fidelity as in marriage?

“But,” you say - followed by a litany of transgressions, flirtations and times and ways you’ve cheated on God in thought, word and deed. Yes, He knows. Nothing done in the dark was ever hidden from Him. Confess your sins - each and all of the ways you’ve been unfaithful to Him. He is faithful to forgive. He wants you back. He’s inviting you to return to Him.

“But how,” you wonder.

• Confess your sin (your infidelity) and God will be faithful to forgive.

  • Acknowledge the sin and receive genuine forgiveness

  • Build a new foundation of trust

  • Establish new boundaries to guard against the Enemy intruding

  • Become new: newly transparent toward God, renewed in your mind and heart and LIFE with Him, allowing yourself to experience new depths of intimacy with Him, looking together toward the future filled with hope together forever

There is—of course— another road, one far too often travelled. I think of it as untying the Knot but its more accurately conveyed as a rejection of the proposal. Those who consider Jesus’ offer and say no to taking His name, no to a life with Him here and forevermore. Others, take the offer but then somewhere along life’s way, their love grows cold, their head is turned to other affections, they fall in love with lesser gods and they divorce themselves from the One who would never leave and never forsake.

God created you with a freedom of the will and God respects you enough to allow you to walk away. You can reject Jesus and walk away from the One who created you, loves you, provides for you, sought you, and offered his own life that you might free to live yours. You are free to reject the love of God in Christ Jesus because God wants those who love Him to love Him honestly.

What does it say about God that He never forces Himself on anyone? God never breaks a promise and never fails, but God does not prevent anyone from abandoning a life with Him. Why is that? Because we’re talking here about a real relationship. Those who leave, a free to leave.

But just know this, God never will. He loves you to the End. And He leaves the path lit and the door open should you ever want to come Home to Him. Yes, He loves you that much. Yes, He loves you that fiercely. Yes, He loves you with that level of fidelity. And yes, His love for you never ends.

Love in the world can be fickle: “he loves me, he loves me not.” Not so the love of God.

The He loves me knot has another unique feature: it binds you not only to God, but to every other believer in Christ. The “He loves me knot” is the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love.

In 1782, John Fawcett was the pastor of a small congregation in whom his heart delighted. He was offered a more prominent position in London and as he was seeking the Lord’s guidance in the decision before him, he wrote these words:

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

To be loved by God is to know the love of God and to know the love of God is to be possessed of the Spirit of love and therefore, to love others. The first experience and expression of this shared love in the Spirit is with fellow believers who have also tied the knot with God.

In the fellowship of believers there is a shared experience of the love of God in Christ Jesus and like those who share in the celebration of love at a wedding, we gather to celebrate and sing and share the good gifts of God in the household of faith. Here, in the household of God, we are loved with brotherly affection and bound in the fellowship of love among a body of believers who genuinely love one another in the Spirit and for the glory of God.

God wants you to FEEL— to fully experience in the depth of your heart and mind and life— the love He has for you. Yes, as an individual, but also in community with others. In the same way that olive trees need the cross pollination and support of a grove, where there roots are deeply intertwined beneath the surface to withstand the harsh conditions of life on the surface, you and I need each other.

Those who belong to Christ, are one— as the Father and the Son are one. I’m thinking here about Jesus’ prayer in John 17 and I’m thinking about the way Jesus gave the care of his own mother to John from the cross. In plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, those who belong to Christ, belong to each other. We are going to spend eternity together with Him as His bride.

Each of us, yes, but all of us. In the visions revealed in Revelation, the Bride is described as a people, not a person. The people of God.

In addition to John’s vision recorded in Revelation, Peter and Paul both describe the communal understanding of the “we the people” of God: In 1 Corinthians 12:27, Paul declares, “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it,” emphasizing that while believers are distinct individuals, they are united in one body. This is echoed in Romans 12:5, which states that “we, though many, form one body in Christ, and each member belongs to all the others.”

In First Corinthians 3:16, Paul tells the Corinthians that they are “God’s temple” and that His Spirit dwells within them collectively. He expands this in Ephesians 2:19-22, describing the church as a household built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, growing into a “holy temple in the Lord.” And this, after describing all believers— no matter who they were prior to tying the knot with Jesus— as one new humanity (Ephesians 2:15). Indeed, in Christ, all are one.

So, although we are many, there is but one Bride, the Church— and those who tie the knot with Jesus are all in it together. Bound to Him, bound to one another, held by a love that neither death nor time nor distance can undo. This is the Knot that holds.

If you’re married, what’s your engagement story? How did your husband propose to you or how did you propose to your wife? What exactly was being proposed in that proposal? How did your relationship change from that day forth and forevermore?

Jesus’ proposal might sound like “Follow me,” but it’s more than that. Jesus is the Bridegroom and what he’s proposing is intended to be foreshadowed and glimpsed through human marriage.

What if we started talking about discipleship in those terms? We’d never have another “Singles” conversation in the Church because from this worldview, there are no single Christians.

Imagine the scene….is it on a beach or in a little chapel? Is it twilight in what photographers call the Golden Hour or over dinner in your favorite place to break bread? Who else is there? Is it just the two of you or did He invite witnesses to share the joy? When you said “Yes” to Jesus, what was the scene? Can you tell that story?

There’s really nothing else like saying “Yes” to Jesus. But the marriage proposal comes close.

When we say “yes” to Jesus’ invitation to enter a union with Him, we may not have even considered all the things included in that yes!

• Yes to the Name. You will henceforth be known by His name. When you say Yes to Jesus, you take His name. You will forever be known as a Christian. Your name is recorded in the Book of Life and He inscribes your name on His flesh (Isaiah 49:15). Just think about that!

• Yes to the ring. An engagement ring is a big part of the ask, right? When she says “yes,” he slides the ring on third finger of her left hand. It is a promise of both parties to one another. In the Christian life, that engagement seal is set by the entrance of the Holy Spirit. God’s eternal, unending love is sealed by the Spirit.

• Yes to the dress. Ah, the dress. What do you imagine the bride of Christ would be wearing to the wedding? Christ’s people are “clothed in righteousness,” adorned for the ultimate wedding feast in all eternity. Here’s the good news: you don’t have to shop for it. The covering of Christ is your’s from the moment you say yes to His proposal. Jesus has you covered. Those who put on Christ do not treat God’s grace in Jesus as a put on.

• Yes to the wedding. Your journey with Jesus here in this life is but a prelude, like the engagement, before the wedding. This life with Jesus is the walk down the long aisle all the way Home to the Father’s house. The wedding is described in Revelation 21:2 and there you are not alone as the Bride but in union with every Christian of every time, place, generation and nation. It is more than any of us can imagine and it will be worth the wait! Every day now is a countdown to that day!

• Yes to a life of fidelity and shared life, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, a life of forsaking all others. When we say yes to Jesus we enter into a life shared in every way with Him. New mercies every morning. Daily provision and constant communication. In this together, no matter what, all the way Home. And, here’s some good news: He knows the Way there and back!

Oh, and yes, this “yes” is to an exclusive relationship with Jesus. There’s no room here for other loves.

Monogamous knot vs monogamous not

Saying “yes” to Jesus, means saying yes to Him and only Him. Here’s how God feels about the exclusivity of your relationship with Him:

God’s first commandment to His people was to have “no other gods before me.” This union is meant to be exclusive. He is asking, Do you love me? Do you love ONLY me?

Throughout the Old Testament, when God calls out his people, there is a common refrain— they were forgetting their first, exclusive love. The language is clearly covental and marital:

• Judges 2:17 : Following the death of judges, the people “went a whoring after other gods” and bowed to them.

• Exodus 34:15-16: God warns that if they make covenants with the inhabitants of Canaan, they will “go a whoring after their gods”.

• Deuteronomy 31:16: God predicts the people will “rise up and prostitute themselves with the foreign gods of the land”.

• Jeremiah 3:6: God refers to “faithless Israel” and her actions as spiritual adultery/whoring.

• Other instances: Ezekiel 16:15, Hosea 4:12, Psalm 106:39.

For us today, we must recognize the kind of relationship status God seeks. God is not content to “date” or “cohabitate.” This is an exclusive relationship because it is so intimate. More than roommates, God wants to dwell in your body.

This sounds CRAZY, and yet this is what the Bible says about the intimacy of the reconciled relationship God wants to have with you and the life He wants to share with you moment by moment, day by day.

God wants to share your body as His abode. Your body, as a temple of His Holy Spirit. God wants to go everywhere you go, see everything you see, hear everything you say, and participate in real time in every life experience you have. This is a one flesh union that isn’t just about sex, it’s about everything and every thing.

And yes, God wants to do some renovations that your body would a temple in which He will be pleased to dwell. But here’s how our gentle Bridegroom goes about this work.

• First, this is the work of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is bringing believers into full conformity with Christ and doing so by one degree of glory to another.

• He turns the lights on and reveals the trash that needs to be hauled out, the hoarding we’ve been doing in the dark. A thorough cleaning, opening the shutters and letting the light shine in— this is the convicting role of the Spirit.

• But the old isn’t swept out to leave a vacant space. The Holy Spirit provides the expulsive power of new affections. Meaning, the old is gone and the new is come! He gives us new desires, new hopes and dreams— this is new life! The Holy Spirit fills our lives with the very presence and power of God, Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide. Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine with 10,000 beside - as the song goes.

• Oh, and God’s reno is beautiful, good, holy, substantial and lasting. God’s love never fades and His Holy Spirit never grows weary of the good work begun in those who believe.

Have you tied the knot?

Maybe today is a good day to have that DTR (define the relationship) talk with God. The countdown to the Wedding Feast of the Lamb (Revelation 19) is on God’s calendar. Say “Yes” today to Jesus who came that you might be loved like no other.

Because, friends, I want you to know— God is not fickle in His love for you.

He has made His desire known and He has acted faithfully in pursuit of you. God loves you. Period. End. We are the ones who play the “love me, loves me not,” game with God. He’s not playing games. He’s in it for good; for now and always; in plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, God is committed in faithfulness to you, and not even death will part you from Him.

Consider Psalm 139:

That’s how God sees you.

Now, in one word or phrase, how would you define or describe your relationship with God?

I have asked this question and gotten answers I would describe as adjectival: secure, complicated, distant, reconciled, growing, maturing, sweet. Others have answered in relational terms: child, disciple, friend, citizen, agent, tool or instrument, ambassador…

Bride?

In response to my question, one friend used the word “covenantal” and I asked what they meant by that. “Well, I am in an exclusive, committed, intimate relationship with God. Like the covenant of marriage. I am His and He is mine.”

As we talked, the images of God that emerged from his lived experience were also in evidence in the Bible. In the same way that a husband gives a woman his name, provides, protects and blesses his wife, God cares for those who are in a covenantal relationship with Him.

And God is ever faithful to His people, despite our unfaithfulness. Here we might consider the witness of God’s character through the prophet Hosea in his marriage with Gomer.

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It’s possible you’ve never considered an intimate union with God. Too close for comfort? Too exclusive? What would it really be like to share “one flesh” with God? What would it be like to have deep, personal communion with God and for that relationship to be kept genuinely holy (Hebrews 13:4)?

In Ephesians 5:25-32, God reveals our earthly marriages, as wonderful as they may be, point to something far greater. Read how He sees Himself, the Bride, and the Knot— and wonder at the privilege of being called the Bride of Christ.

This is the first in a series— read part 2 and part 3, available now.

Maybe you are enjoying a season of smooth sailing or a stretch through green pastures. Your life is marked by abundance and fellowship and joy. Amen and praise God. But maybe you’re in a rough patch, a dark stretch of the journey, maybe everything right now is not coming up roses – those wars and rumors of war are in your home, those dark skies are brewing in your mind, your relationship is on the rocks, or your heart is crushed by the searing pain of loss. Life is full of contrasts and shadows. That’s the reality to which the Psalmist turns after affirming the goodness of the presence and provision of the Good Shepherd.

Today we arrive in the valley of the 23^rd Psalm.

Where in the word are you today?? (Letting God speak to us through that which He has already spoken: His living and eternal Word)

Our Growing Your Faith Verse today is... Psalm 23:4 - Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Even though...

Friend, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. That’s what is says in Psalm 34:18.

And even though you may be walking today through the darkest valley, the Lord is with you to protect, comfort, guide and carry you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, the Good Shepherd is close beside you – nearer even than your next breathless breath.

That promise of proximity is the real promise here. Suffering does not distance us from God, it actually draws Him in. The Lord is actively tending here, seeking to save, coming to the rescue – not stilling the storm, but walking with us in it. Not magically or miraculously taking us out of the dark valley, but joining us in it. That’s love. That’s grace. That’s Good. That’s God.

What do you learn about God in the valleys of life?

Who do you know who is in an “even though” stretch of the journey of life?

Might you, as an agent of God’s grace, filled with the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, might you go walk a stretch today in the valley of the shadow with that friend, neighbor, co-worker, or relative.

That’s the very reality of the incarnation. Jesus left the reality of the constant joyful heavenly companionship of the Father and Spirit to condescend to our reality where shadows and darkness and death are just as real and prevalent as light and life. When we walk with others in dark valleys and shadowlands, we do what Jesus did and we put flesh on the Gospel. That’s the encouragement here – the Good Shepherd transforms the journey of life by His presence. He is close beside me. Let us go today and do likewise for those we know who are in the season of “Even Though.”

There is so much to weary and worry us so let’s just take a few moments to revel.

Let’s revel in the recent trip around the moon and the perspective we gain on ourselves, God and the Earth. Let’s revel— and dare I suggest reclaim—secular Spring holidays like Earth Day, Arbor Day, May Day, May the 4th, Mother’s Day, Graduation, Memorial Day and maybe you’ve got a wedding day or anniversary in there as well! Yes, I’m going after all of them today!

We could do a deep dive into each of these but for the sake of time and attention, I’m going to skim the surface and trust you can dive deeper in the ones that resonate with you. Here we go! Reconnecting the eternal with the everyday when it comes to:

Artemis II

The astronauts did the work here for us already, the mission commander and pilot expressed the connection directly. Ahead of the mission, Victor Glover stated, “We need Jesus — whether here on Earth or orbiting the moon”. He noted that viewing the cosmos firsthand fortified his belief in a Creator, turning scientific engineering into a spiritual experience. He also led worship aboard the Integrity, continuing the practice of celebrating the Lord’s Supper in space. Then, upon their return, the mission Commander.

Reid Wiseman asked for the ship’s Chaplain as soon as the crew was aboard the Air Craft Carrier that picked them up in the Pacific ocean. He had clearly had a spiritual experience that he wanted an opportunity to express and explore. He has since focused on the humbling nature of the mission and the view of Earth and the perspective he has gained on life and humanity. So, what is Man that God is mindful of us? The moon makes it debut in Genesis 1:14-18 and then is most frequently referenced in the Psalms where it appears along with the Sun and the stars. Psalm 104 is worth a read as you consider God in light of our recent trip to the far side of the moon.

Earth Day

You likely know that “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1) but have you considered that in the sin of humanity, all creation fell as well? That things on earth are literally not the way they’re supposed to be? That all creation is groaning with eager longing for our redemption because there’s a new earth waiting to be brought into existence? And in the meantime (and I do mean mean time), God has entrusted the care and stewardship of the Earth to human beings? It’s called the Creation mandate and you can find it in Genesis 1:26-28.

²⁶ Then God said, ^o“Let us make man¹ in our image, ^pafter our likeness. And ^qlet them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ²⁷ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; ^rmale and female he created them. ²⁸ And God blessed them. And God said to them, ^s“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

If you’ve ever wondered who you are and what in the world you’re in the world to do, God says so right here. Before God created human beings He declared the why of our creation: that we might serve as His image bearing stewards on the Earth He had made. And then, after creating us in His image, male and female, God didn’t keep that purpose a secret. God told Adam and Eve what in the world they were in the world to do. It is called The Creation Mandate and it includes the union of marriage that produces future generations and the management or stewardship of God’s good creation. Explore, yet, but not exploit. Cultivate, yet, but not strip.

Arbor Day

Hot on the heels of Earth day is Arbor day. I love Arbor day - maybe because I am married to a tree guy. Jim became a certified arborist four decades ago. He loves trees. Walks in the woods and hikes are filled with frequent stops to inspect, identify, and revel in the beauty and diversity of the trees. On Arbor Day I think about the trees in the Bible from beginning to end. We were made to live in an arboreal paradise. At the center of the Garden and in the center of the New Creation, stands a tree. And on the hill where salvation came through the sacrifice of Jesus, stood a tree. That’s how the Cross is described.

Psalm 1 may be my favorite Tree People passage…

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,

² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.

³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.

More here:

May Day

May is the month of possibility! It’s in the name! May means possibility, perhaps, for all we know we do not know it all. May holds expectancy. April showers pour out the promise of May flowers and maybe, just maybe, May will bring the unexpected, even miracles! Maybe!

It could happen!

What is the “it” in that sentence for you? What is the May BE you’re praying for this May?

Are you praying “may days” to God or are you praying “may be’s”?

Yes, prayers are filled with both. “May day, may day! I’m drowning here! God, help me!” and “Maybe you might, I wish you would, could you please consider…” prayers.

And then there are the Maybe prayers of yielding our will to the Father. Less Mayday and more May be. “May it be so, Lord. May it be.”

May the 4th

On May the 4th there will predictably be many people who revel in the world of Star Wars. “May the Force be with you!” is their call. What does that mean and how can you and I get God back into that conversation? Well, the world of Star Wars and its worldview, entered our cultural consciousness in May 1977. That’s a long time to think about and imagine sentient beings beyond human and a universal Force that might be as equally used for Light as for Dark, or Good vs Evil. When people say, “May the Force be with you,” what do they mean and what force IS with you as a Christian? In short, the Holy Spirit. If you’re a Christian, then the force of God, by the present power of His Holy Spirit is with you. Right now. Working in you to bring you into greater conformity to Christ and working through you to accomplish God’s pleasing and perfect will in and through your life. And, because it’s God’s force, it’s always and in all ways Good. For God is Good and He can be no other.

(More here: https://www.pluggedin.com/blog/the-theology-of-star-wars/)

Weddings and/or wedding anniversaries

Jim and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary on May 7th. And then, that weekend, I’ll be attending a family wedding in Indiana. Tis the season, right? Weddings and wedding anniversaries are wonderful opportunities for us to reconnect the eternal with the everyday, to remember and rehearse the vows we’ve made and to ask God to strengthen us in our walk together all the way Home to the Father’s house.

Marriage is primarily God’s idea—a sacred, lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, designed to reflect His image and the Gospel. It acts as a purposeful, “one-flesh” partnership ordained for companionship, procreation, and holy love. Marriage foreshadows Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church, serving as a living picture of divine union. Marriage didn’t evolve, it was part of the original plan. It’s prefall, it’s fundamentally good. It is instituted by God on purpose and for a purpose. The central role of marriage is to mirror the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Church.

Marriage in our culture has been largely disconnected from God’s design and calling for marriage to be a provisional demonstration of the Kingdom of God in the midst of the kingdoms of this world. This May, during wedding season, let us exalt the Marriage of the Lamb and prepare ourselves individually and corporately to be His Bride.

(More here: https://www.gotquestions.org/bride-of-Christ.html)

Graduations

This feels like an opportunity to talk about the lifelong nature of discipleship. We never graduate. We grow, our faith is tried and tested and stretched, strengthened, lengthened, stressed, blessed…but we never graduate. We do mature, growing up in every way into Christ who is the head. But discipleship - including the study of God’s Word - is a lifelong endeavor. Maybe this graduation season is a good opportunity for you to confess that you’ve disengaged from the intentional pursuit of God and His Word. And if so, this is a great time to get back into the Word of God so that God would speak to you again through that which He has already spoken.

Memorial Day

So much to say about Memorial Day from a Christian or Biblical worldview. Sometimes Christians talk like you should have no loyalty for your country, as if love for your country was always a bad thing. To be sure, this must never be ultimate loyalty. We must always obey God rather than men.

While American churches are in America, they must never become American churches—the body of Christ, the Church, is made up of believers from every nation under heaven, from every tribe and tongue and people group.

In a time when everything is politicized and even the church is polarized, we must work hard to help people see that Christianity is not just a Western religion or American religion. Christianity started in the Middle East and quickly spread to North Africa, and parts of Asia and Europe. The Church was always meant to be global - ethnically and racially diverse. And while there are - by number - more Christians in the US than any other nation on the Earth, we can never take the Gospel nor its witness for granted. And the Cross must never become just another memorial.

The National Day of Prayer

It occurs to me here that we missed the marking of one day in our survey of May: the National Day of Prayer. So, whatever day it is today, pray for the Nation. Pray for We the People and intentionally pray that we would indeed be a nation who sees herself as under God’s authority, in God’s will and pursuing God’s ways.

Freedom is a great gift that comes at a high price. The freedom bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ is the freedom from the penalty and power of sin. And as Americans, the freedom bought with the precious blood of our fellow Americans is the liberty we enjoy as a free people.

Most Americans, having never laid such a sacrifice upon freedom’s altar, hold a very narrow view of what freedom really is. Memorial Day is one day we stop and give thanks for those who paid for our freedom with the ultimate sacrifice. Let our expressions of gratitude to their families be genuine and let us never ever forget that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

We we take this moment to stop— and revel— something is clearly revealed. We have much to be thankful for. Thank you friends for taking the time to enter into the reclaiming revelry with me!

Blessings,

Carmen

Carmen’s Reading List:

Every church is called to be advancing the kingdom of God in the midst of the kingdoms of this world, yet most of us know that we are in congregations that are not really doing that.

This month I interviewed Vick Green, from Replicate Ministries, on The Reconnect. We talked how we need to rethink church growth to fulfill the Great Commission. He shared:

“Jesus’ final words are to be the church’s first work. Often discipleship is seen sometimes as a ministry in the church opposed to being the ministry of the church.”

Read or listen to my full interview with Vick here: Getting Beyond “Doing Church” to Make Disciples.

Keeping up with Carmen…

On a ladder

It was Thursday afternoon and in an attempt to distract my 20-year-old, Matthew, from the disappointment of not passing the knowledge test at the DMV, I thought it would be a good idea for he and I to hang the camouflage netting over the area where his teenage chickens are free-ranging. Why? Because we have both owls and hawks who have taken note of their location and think they look tasty! And while it might seem like hanging camouflage netting in the trees in a partially wooded area near our chicken coop is something that a person could do without a ladder, I thought it would be better to have the netting high enough that I could easily walk beneath it. Thus, me on a ladder.

After a most undignified and ungracious fall from the ladder, I collected myself and took note of my injuries. The blood in my mouth was my first concern but so too was the searing pain in both of my shins. I was clearly wounded but I couldn’t tell how badly.

One of my girls came down the road with a supply of medicinal banana bread and when she looked at my right leg her eyes went wide. “Do you think you need to go to the ER?” she asked. But she ask it in the kind of way that suggests a person thinks you should say yes. I became convinced of her wisdom when I tried to stand up and walk to the restroom. That’s when I discovered my right leg I could no longer bear my weight.

Upon arrival at the ER one of the questions that I was asked was to rate my pain. I’m not sure I’m any good at rating pain. Pain is pain. I have no idea how my pain compares to anyone else’s pain because I feel my pain and I can’t possibly feel your pain not in the way that you feel your pain. I picked a number but I could have picked a number for how much pain my mouth was causing me or how much pain my right leg was causing me or how much pain my left arm was causing me.

After examining me from head to toe, having found no loose teeth, cleaning out the injuries inside my mouth, verifying I had no internal injuries, I was sent off for x-rays. And here’s something I’m sure a neuroscientist or psychiatrist could explain, but the fact that I instantly felt somewhat less pain when I knew none of my bones was broken, tells me something about myself. And that’s what I want to concentrate on here for just a moment.

How much does knowing the truth help you get through whatever you’re enduring? I think it makes a huge difference to know the truth. The true truth. The whole truth. I know it’s true in terms of having an honest diagnosis of a problem and I also know it’s true in terms of having an honest assessment of reality. The truth sets us free in so many ways.

So whatever’s going on right now that’s causing you pain, I just want to encourage you to ask God to reveal the truth of what’s going on beneath the surface. As the great physician let him tend tenderly and expose the truth, whatever it is. And then, let him do what is necessary to bring healing.

I’m in the slow healing process right now from literally falling on my face after having tried to climb the ladder. There’s a lesson in that for sure! But maybe for you there’s also the gift of knowing that you’re not alone and whatever pain you are currently enduring and at the Great Physician is available to expose the truth of what’s going on beneath the surface that you might begin to heal.

Let’s talk transfer portal.

If you pay any attention at all to college sports then you are familiar with the transfer portal – the NCAA Transfer Portal is a digital database and compliance tool launched in 2018 that allows student-athletes to formally notify their current school of their intent to transfer and openly communicate with other schools. It streamlines the transfer process, allowing athletes to explore new opportunities while maintaining immediate eligibility if they are in good standing. Football and basketball have specific windows of time when the transfer window is open and today is the day it closes for basketball. Today is the day players must enter their names in the transfer portal if they want to play on another team next season.

There’s lots of talk among lots of people who do not play basketball about the use of the transfer portal – so, is there any way to get God into that conversation? I’m so glad you asked!

Where in the word are you today?? (Letting God speak to us through that which He has already spoken: His living and eternal Word)

Our Growing Your Faith Verse today is... Colossians 1:13-14 (CEV) - He rescued us from the control of darkness and

transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves. He set us free through the Son and forgave our sins.

Did you hear it? The reference to the transfer portal? Let me read it again: Colossians 1:13-14 (CEV) - He rescued us from the control of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves. He set us free through the Son and forgave our sins.

The NCAA transfer portal is relatively new and its use is controversial – but it does provide a way to get into a conversation about a transfer portal that was opened 2000 years ago. This is a spiritual transfer portal and its available for you to enter in right now.

Don’t you want to be transferred from the the control of darkness to the Kingdom of Light? Don’t you want to be transferred from the realities of sin and death and transferred to the Kingdom of God’s grace and love, fellowship and life?

Friend, this is the best transfer portal move in history! And it was made possible by Jesus’ sacrifice – this redemption, this transfer, is made possible by His blood shed on the cross. God is the active agent who initiates the transfer – God opens the way – and you are invited to enter this spiritual transfer portal today!

How do you activate your transfer? The hardest part – as is true for student athletes who have to decide today whether or not to enter the NCAA transfer portal – the hardest part, I think is the decision. You have to decide to be transferred from one kingdom to another – to change jerseys, to join team Jesus. You have to decide to accept the grace of God – and accept the offer to live forevermore on the other side of the greatest dividing line in all of humanity. You have to decide to be transferred from death to life.

Jesus has already done the work and paid the price. The spiritual transfer portal is open. Do you want to be transferred today? The offer stands for you to transfer from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of God’s Son, the Savior, Jesus Christ. I’m team Jesus and we’d love to have you come over to His team today.

Pray a prayer something like this: “God, hi, my name is _____. I know you know that but we’ve never really talked so it feels like I should introduce myself. My life is not the life I want. I am not the person I want to be. In fact, as you know, my life is a mess. I’m a mess. I know I’m a sinner and I know I need to be rescued from sin. I almost can’t believe that you sent Jesus to die for me, but you did and I believe in Him. I want to accept the offer you make in Jesus to transfer me from the kingdom of darkness and death to the Kingdom of your Son, the Kingdom of light and life. Thank you, God for transferring me today and making me a part of your family forevermore. Amen.”

If you prayed that prayer or something like it and want to talk more about a life on team Jesus, text the word FAITH to 41224 ...

And if you’re already on Team Jesus, then I hope each time you hear of the “transfer portal” you’ll be nudged to tell people that the spiritual transfer portal is open today and that today could be for them, the day of salvation. God ready to fill the roster and transfer you out of the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of His Son.

I spoke with Vick Green, of Replicate Ministries, and co-author of the resource Movement Ready Church, a blueprint for multiplying disciples, about how we change that.

Every church is called to be advancing the kingdom of God in the midst of the kingdoms of this world, yet most of us know that we are in congregations that are not doing that. Vick shares how to move away from a focus on “growing” in external measures to building a vision of transformative Kingdom growth in your church.

Carmen: So how is a disciple made and is there a model for disciple making that we could learn from the early church?

Vick Green: Jesus’ final words are to be the church’s first work. Often discipleship is seen sometimes as a ministry in the church opposed to being the ministry of the church.

And so our passion has been, how do we help churches activate their disciple-making movement? And the truth is we see Jesus lays out a blueprint in the gospels, and then the Book of Act shows the launching of that. And though there’s unique elements in the Book of Acts—of the movement that they had, and it was unique to them— we believe that all of those promises, that that is the intention for every church.

Carmen: Can you talk about, in a culture that seems still obsessed with numbers or seems obsessed with the many, when we talk about what we’re measuring or metrics, Jesus was really concerned about a few.

Vick Green: That’s exactly right. The big idea for us today is not all church growth equals kingdom growth. And so there’s a way in which we are called to build the church and a way that we’re called to build the kingdom.

Jesus spent over 80% of his time, not with the masses, not with the crowds, but with his disciples, with 12 ordinary men and the way in which he would build his church, the way that he would start a movement that we now participate in 2000 years later and that has continued to grow and grow every year since its beginnings, the way he started it was not with a focus on the many, but it was on a dedication to the few.

As he began to invest and go deep with a few leaders, they would begin to multiply their life. And that’s what would lay the foundation for what is possible in the Book of Acts. And so as we think about leading the discipling movement, it starts with a dedication to the few even before a declaration to the many. It’s a focus on our leaders and developing them to multiply their life before it is about casting a big vision to a large crowd.

And so as we begin to measure success, so much of it, I think as Jesus looks at the health of his church, he doesn’t go and count the people in him, he weighs them. And as I think about Paul, as he talks about all the effort and the spoil and why he works so hard is so that he may present people fully mature in Christ.

As leaders, as church, as if we will focus on the depth of our people, it will expand the breadth of our reach. And so I think that’s what you see in Jesus model, that’s what for us we have to continue to get back to is to not just get excited about the wide numbers of people coming in and our reach, but man, how are we maturing them and developing them and asking them to go and reproduce their life and others?

Carmen: Okay, we want to be a disciple-making church. How would we begin to measure that?

Vick Green: Yeah, great question. Often we settle for an activity score board. That looks like, how often are they active in our programming? What we want to move towards, what we must move to is, what is a transformation scoreboard?

How do we measure not just what they’re doing, but more importantly, who are they becoming? And so the way that we do that is, often, we want to bust the engagement myth. And this engagement myth is the belief that activity equals transformation. Yes, those are correlated. If you’re active in the church, you will grow typically, but they’re not the same. And so we want to get really clear on what is the picture of the disciples that we’re developing.

We want to start at Scripture, but then we want to also look at our congregation. We want to look at our leadership, what are the convictions of our leadership, what are the needs of our community. And we want to create a picture of the disciples that we are developing. And then that ultimately, that now becomes the success. And it becomes the vision for why we do anything and everything.

Just to illustrate that, one of my favorite ones that we’ve done, I was with a church in Missouri, and as they began to name their dream disciple, they said it this way. They want their people, and they did this with their kids, student, and adult ministry all in mind.

They would go, “We want our people to have a mind of truth, a voice of hope, a heart of compassion, hands of service, and feet of purpose.“ And once they got clear, that was the picture of their side of us. They then oriented everything that they did, the way they measured success, why they did what they did to that picture. And so down to child dedication, whenever a baby was born, they would pray that as a blessing.

That was their unique expression. Every church, we’ve done thousands at this point. Each one creates their own unique version that resonates with their people.

Carmen: That’s so good. All right. Friends, does that change the way you have thought about why your church is where it is, what kind of church your church is, not just why you're in it, right? I think we ask that question from time to time like, "Is this the right church for me? Am I even in the right place?" What about, is your church being planted on purpose for God's purpose right where it is? Who are the people who come to your church, and who are they becoming?

Where in the word are you today?? (Letting God speak to us through that which He has already spoken: His living and eternal Word)

Our Growing Your Faith Verse today is... Romans 13:6-7 - Pay your taxes, too for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. Give to everyone what you owe them. Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.

So, yes, pay your taxes but from there, where we might go in a conversation to get God back into it?

What if asked you what you find taxing?

Do you have a medically complicated child or one who is neurodivergent? Do you have an aging parent with dementia? Do you have a family member who is addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling or gaming?

Do you have a young adult who is failing to thrive or a marriage that is joyless?

Are you lonely or grieving or just worn out by the demands of a world you can’t keep up with?

What taxes you?

What taxes your joy, drains your emotional accounts, keeps you up at night or feels like its sucking you dry?

Maybe the honest answer is something that is both mundane and seemingly inescapable – that’s actually what makes something taxing.

• For Mary it was pondering what she knew that few others knew and living with the pain of it all

• For John it was the weight of the sin of people refused to confess, even in the presence of the Lamb of God who came to take away the sin of the world

• For Paul it was something – a thorn in the flesh – that God never took away – even as God used Paul mightily for His kingdom purposes

I bring up these examples because taxes are a part of life – yes, Jesus heals many and miracles happen – but real life is really taxing because sin is real and this is not yet heaven on earth.

• Children are born with all kinds of complications and marriages fail

• The job market changes and technology advances and wars arise and our personal economic plans collapse

• Accidents happen and people do terrible sinful things and our lives, our families, are forever changed

Life is taxing.

Ask someone today – on this tax day – what is taxing them. What do you find taxing about life? What’s draining your emotional accounts?

And then use that as an opportunity to pray, to plead with God for miracles and to walk forward together – even with a limp.

Social scientists call this kind of sorting the world – into us and them – social identity theory. It involves categorizing people into an “in group” - known as us – and out “out group” - known as them.

Its a natural human tendency and we all do it whether we think about it or not.

Our family reunion is us – if you’re not in the family, you’re not us, you’re them.

Our jerseys and cheering section at a ball game is an us/them division.

Our nation is us – and other nations are not us, they are them.

Our church is us – and we are not them

We identify with some groups and not others and that natural process of categorizing people into Us and Them gives us a sense of identity and belonging in a complex world. Feeling like a part of US makes us feel safe and boosts our self esteem.

However, how we see “them” and how we treat “them” can be a problem. If we see “us” as virtuous and “them” as flawed, or less than us, you can see how quickly the US and THEM division creates deep social fissures.

It will not surprise you that God has a different view of US – because from the perspective of the Creator, we’re all human. All of us.

Where in the word are you today?? (Letting God speak to us through that which He has already spoken: His living and eternal Word)

Our Growing Your Faith Verse today is... Hebrews 2:17 (CEV) - He had to be one of us, so that He could serve God as our merciful and faithful high priest and sacrifice Himself for the forgiveness of sins.

Jesus had to be one of us.

Jesus makes us US – he takes on our identity, moves into our neighborhood, and takes upon himself everything we had coming.

Those who in turn identify with Jesus become and US – but everyone is invited to join this group. It is God’s desire that none would be lost – that there would be no “THEM” but that every person would respond to the good news of the Gospel, and find their identity, belonging and purpose in the One who became one of US to save US and make of US a new humanity – I’m thinking here of Ephesians 2:1-5 and 14-22

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, ² in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. ³ All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh^[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. ⁴ But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵ made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

¹⁴ For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, ¹⁵ by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, ¹⁶ and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. ¹⁷ He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. ¹⁸ For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

¹⁹ Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, ²⁰ built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. ²¹ In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²² And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Jesus expressed His heart’s desire for our unity in the prayer recorded in John 17.

In Christ there is no us and them, those who are in Christ are all one. One in the spirit and one in the Lord.

We do not see those who are currently outside of Christ as “them” but as hopefully, one day, part of US. Amen?

Because, here’s something to consider: We were once them. It is Jesus who makes us us.

And Jesus wants each of them and all of them until they too are us. Let’s re-present Him to them today and let us not get in God’s Way of making us One.

Listen here: https://www.myfaithradio.com/programs/reconnect-with-carmen-laberge/understanding-the-cultural-narratives-were-immersed-in-michael-graham-are-you-a-wise-consumer-of-the-news-katherine-anne-thierfelder-1775739600

And after singing a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

But think on this: before the suffering of the cross, before the work done on your and my behalf….Jesus sang.

He worshipped– and his songbook would have been the Psalms. In this instance, most likely, they were singing from Psalm 113-118, known as the Egyptian Hallel. These songs were sung during Passover as a celebration of God’s deliverance of his people through the Exodus from Egypt.

But they also looked ahead to the promised Messiah and included significant Messianic references. And so, as these psalms were sung at the Last Supper, they connect Israel’s historical deliverance from Egypt to the ultimate deliverance of God’s people through Christ.

God’s people sang these Psalms as a remembrance of God’s deliverance from slavery. Jesus sang them as The Deliverer. God’s people sang as they offered the sacrifice of a spotless lamb to represent their redemption from Egypt. Jesus sang them as the Redeemer.

Let’s look at Psalm 118 together and wonder at the Messianic prophecies which Jesus had come to fulfill:

The Rejected Stone (Psalm 118:22-23): “The stone which the builders refused is become the head stone of the corner. This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.” Jesus applies this directly to himself in Matthew 21:42, indicating that the Jewish leaders (builders) would reject him, but God would make him the foundational cornerstone of salvation.

The Coming One (Psalm 118:26): “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.” This verse is quoted during Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem (Matthew 21:9, 23:39) and recognized as a prophetic welcoming of the Messianic King.

Suffering and Deliverance (Psalm 118:10-18): These verses describe a righteous individual surrounded by enemies and suffering, yet saved by God, foreshadowing Christ’s passion and resurrection.

The Saving Right Hand (Psalm 118:15-16): The “right hand of the LORD” is exalted and does valiantly, often interpreted as the power of God acting through the Messiah.

Jesus– the promised Messiah, who is about to fulfill his earthly purpose through his death and resurrection– also sang about God’s promises of salvation, given generations ago to his people.

I encourage you to read through the Egyptian Hallel this Holy Week– look closely for the Messianic promises and how Jesus fulfilled them. Consider what it means that Jesus was the rejected cornerstone, the coming one, the helper of the lowly, the suffering righteous man.

And then turn in worship, just as Jesus did that Last Supper: What a God we serve! He has done what we promised. He has come to defeat sin and death and give us salvation. Full and eternal!

We sing Psalm 118 with Christ Himself, and with the people of God through all generations to declare God’s goodness in saving us:

You are my God, and I will praise you;

you are my God, and I will exalt you.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

Did you miss part one of this series? Read it here.

But I wonder if we might stop and linger for a moment first at the table. Because, before the events of Good Friday and Easter there was a feast– the Passover feast.

Passover is the Jewish holiday celebrating God’s deliverance of His people from slavery in Egypt, called the Exodus and recorded for us in the book by the same name. Jesus and His disciples gathered together to celebrate the Passover meal– probably just as they had their entire lives as Jewish men.

This meal has a script with specific preparations to make, passages to read and songs to sing. But then, on this particular day for this particular Passover celebration, Jesus departs from the script, gets up from the table and does something that would be mind blowing: he washes their feet.

John 13 recounts Jesus “knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father,” and so the Son of God, the Word, the One who holds all things together removed his outer garment, knelt down, poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet.

This was a dirty and unwanted job usually reserved for a non-Jewish slave. And yes, Jesus washed all the disciples’ feet, even Judas, his betrayer.

Jesus washed their physical feet, which were obviously filthy from days of walking on dirty streets in sandals, to show them something much deepr–their spiritual need to be clean. This was not an ordinary Passover meal. Jesus was doing a new thing.

The Synoptic Gospels record the events of the meal itself. Read Matthew 26:17-30:

17 Now on the first day of Unleavened Bread the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Where do You want us to prepare for You to eat the Passover?” 18 And He said, “Go into the city to a certain man, and say to him, ‘The Teacher says, “My time is near; I am keeping the Passover at your house with My disciples.”’” 19 The disciples did as Jesus had directed them; and they prepared the Passover.

20 Now when evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve. 21 And as they were eating, He said, “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” 22 Being deeply grieved, they began saying to Him, each one: “Surely it is not I, Lord?” 23 And He answered, “He who dipped his hand with Me in the bowl is the one who will betray Me. 24 The Son of Man is going away just as it is written about Him; but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good [j]for that man if he had not been born.” 25 And Judas, who was betraying Him, said, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” Jesus *said to him, “You have said it yourself.”

26 Now while they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.” 27 And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you; 28 for this is My blood of the covenant, which is being poured out for many for forgiveness of sins. 29 But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it with you, new, in My Father’s kingdom.”

30 And after singing a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

What we know as the Last Supper, was first a Passover meal.

Jesus took the traditional elements of the feast– the bread and the wine, used to commemorate the exodus from Egypt, and gave them new meaning, identifying them with his own sacrifice.

Let’s look at each in turn:

The Fulfillment of Passover: The lamb sacrificed in Egypt saved Israelites from physical death; now, Jesus’ body broken on the cross saves humanity from spiritual death, acting as the ultimate sacrificial lamb.

A New Covenant Memorial: By stating “This is my body... do this in remembrance of me,” Jesus instituted a new ritual, shifting the focus from remembering the Exodus to remembering his atoning sacrifice.

A New Symbolism of Sacrifice: The broken bread represents the suffering Jesus endured, providing spiritual nourishment to believers. The Passover cup was his own blood given for the forgiveness of sins. By identifying the wine with his blood poured out, Jesus positions himself as the final, perfect Passover Lamb, redeeming humanity from sin’s bondage

Participation in His Body: Eating the bread symbolizes identifying with Jesus’s death and becoming part of his body (the church), strengthening the bond between him and his followers

And finally, He gives us a new command: “Drink from it, all of you; for this is My blood of the covenant, which is being poured out for many for forgiveness of sins.

This was the last full day of Christ’s life before his death on the cross. Let’s linger here for a moment and consider the full breadth of what Jesus was doing during the Passover meal/ Last Supper.

Jesus is the One True Lamb– offered as the final and perfect sacrifice for us. The stories and rituals of the Old Testament were pointing to this very moment. Let’s linger here this week to meditate on Christ’s words and actions before moving on to the Garden of Gethsemane and the Cross.

Here are some questions to reflect on as consider The Last Supper, and a prayer in response:

• What are the scripts we rehearse on Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, silent Saturday and Easter Sunday?

• How is Jesus the host of the meals we celebrate and how is made known among us in the breaking of the bread?

• What might it be like to prepare a traditional Passover meal and then use the script of Jesus to amplify the Gospel?

• What if we set aside time to not only walk the stations of the Cross but the journey of Jesus on the day prior to his crucifixion?

• How might Easter mean more if you attended today to the last full day of Christ’s life?

Let us pray…

O God, how you have me and how you have loved me in Christ for so long. Forgive me all the ways I have failed to love you with my whole heart and on this night, help me see Jesus as the greatest love I could ever know.

As I sit at table fellowship today, open my eyes to the One who is the very Bread of Life. Help me experience every piece of broken bread as His body, broken for me.

Help me experience with every beat of my heart today, the blood poured out for the forgiveness of my sins. Every drop is more precious than all the treasures of this earth. O God, help me see.

As I wash my hands today or put on my shoes, as I take up a towel of service or put on an apron, as I tend to those in need and as my needs are tended by others, O God, help me see Jesus getting up from the table, removing his outer garment, filling a basin of water and bowing to wash the disciples’ feet. O God, what humility, what grace. I want to be like Jesus but I confess I don’t want to love others as Jesus loves me in this way. Help me by your Spirit in this resistance to love as Jesus loves.

As I prepare meals, eat and drink today, take me to the table of the Lord’s last supper.

As I serve and am served today, take me to the footwashing of the Lord.

As I walk and talk today, take me to the valley where Jesus walked toward the Garden where Judas would betray him.

As I bow in prayer today, give me the spirit of Jesus, enabling me to pray, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”

Take me moment by moment today to the events of this day that I may see Jesus for who He is and prepare myself for what’s coming tomorrow.

Amen.

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for[a] you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

- I Corinthians 11:23-24

Read part two of these series on Maundy Thursday, The Psalms of Deliverance Sung by the Messiah

In March, we march with Jesus toward Jerusalem. During this particular March, we also tend to wars and rumors of wars, and people march in protest and people march in parades. People will march as if in a festal procession on Palm Sunday and there will be the forced brutal march to the Cross.

Which marching most has your attention this March?

The NCAA basketball tournaments (both men’s and women’s) are single-elimination sudden death match ups. That produces intense pressure. There are those cheering in crowds for you and against you. Then, there is the Palm Sunday exaltation and there is the fervency of the “Crucify him! Crucify him!” chant.

There is the potential for the team who the world was rated as the underdog to shock and overwhelm in ultimate victory and there is the emotional rollercoaster.

But I think beyond all that, I can draw parallels between March Madness and Holy Week in the way much of the world’s attention is drawn into something that the majority of the world actually pays no attention to at all.

People who are into the NCAA basketball “thing” have a very hard time wrapping their minds around the truth that most of the world —overwhelmingly, actually—could not care less about the thing they are passionate about. We don’t know the teams. We don’t know the players. We don’t love the game. We’re not into it. We’re actually thinking about other things and yes, there are other things going on in the world.

But the people who are “into it” are really into it. The average March Madness fan will spend 36 hours fully consumed by either watching games or discussing and watching how their brackets perform. Fans average nearly 2 hours per day during March Madness fully focused on it. And 25% of American workers will be watching games during the work day. They are totally consumed and they cannot imagine that some of us are paying absolutely no attention at all.

Now, flip that script and bring Holy Week into focus. Those of us who are focused on Jesus’ journey to Jerusalem are into it. We’re with Him in it. We’re watching, we’re waiting, we’re totally consumed. If we’re honest, it affects our work. It provides a rhythm to our daily habits and our weekend plans. We know the players by name and we see the big showdown coming. It’s going to be an upset beyond all historic proportions! And most of our co-workers, neighbors and even our families, are paying absolutely no attention at all.

March Madness indeed.

This question was posed in a retreat setting as a kind of an icebreaker, a way to get people talking about themselves without just talking about themselves.

I said the first thing that came to mind, “I’d be the Arbiter of Truth.” As soon as I’d said it, I realized I’d stretched the scope of the exercise — the facilitator just stared at me.

Finally, someone broke the silence and asked, “What’s an arbiter?” An arbiter is a person who settles disputes with binding authority. What they say, goes. But the better question might have been, “What is Truth?” And, God is the actual Arbiter of Truth, in case you were wondering.

Today, our culture needs not only an arbiter of truth, but an arbiter of good. People do not seem to have a measure of right and wrong outside of whatever they are feeling in the moment. And feelings, as we know, are not only a terrible barometer of the truth, they are an awful compass for moral decision-making. In a “do whatever feels good to you in the moment” culture, the genuinely good, beautiful and true are hard to hold onto.

As evidence of Americans’ individualized moral map making I direct your attention to research by Pew: In the U.S. fewer people now say it’s necessary to believe in God to be moral and another analysis of the same research on what Americans view as immoral.

We’re on a downward trend (Pew has been asking the question about morality and God for a long time) and, not surprisingly, people who are less likely to express a belief in God are also less likely to say God is the arbiter of good and the authority on morality. One disconnect—the disconnect from God— leads to the other— the disconnect between morality and a holiness defined by God.

When Jesus was asked, “What is good?” He answered reflexively that God alone is good. (Matthew 19) But after establishing that “there is only One who is good” (and therefore only One in a position to set the boundaries of good and evil), Jesus goes on to point to the Law, and then to the spirit of the Law revealed in generosity toward others as the good flowing from God through human beings, who are conduits of His mercy and love.

We don’t “do good” because we are good but because God, who is Good, fills, animates, and desires to use us to pour out every good and perfect gift (James 1:17).

Here’s an excerpt from the Pew article that I found illuminating:

From 2002 through 2011, Americans were split fairly evenly or tilted toward the view that people need to believe in God to be moral and have good values. Starting in 2014, however, Americans have been more likely to say the opposite – that belief in God is not necessary to be moral. Since 2020, about two-thirds of U.S. adults have taken this position.

Did you get that? Two out of three U.S. adults do not live as if God is the arbiter of good, nor truth. So, if you believe in God and understand that the Spirit of God not only leads us into all truth but also reminds us what is good and godly, true and honorable—then you are not only in a minority, but one that is shrinking.

“But hold on just a minute!” You might rightly protest. “Doesn’t the research show (by Pew and Gallup) that a very high percentage of Americans say they believe in God?” That’s a tricky question. The research shows that more than 80% of American adults believe in god (not specifically the God of the Bible) and half of American adults identify as Christians. But what exactly does that mean?

Perhaps, people who profess to know God and even to be relying on God for their salvation, are not in fact living as if God is really God or that God really cares about human moral behavior.

The disconnect is between what God reveals to be good and true and what has become either comfortable or customary for many of us as Americans today. Ask yourself, “Am I really looking at every decision— how I spend my time, how I spend my money, how I talk about people, how I treat people—through a filter of Godliness?”

This is more than “what would Jesus do,” but that’s part of it. This filter asks questions like, “How does God see this? How does God feel about this? And how does God want me to see and feel and respond?”

I’m so grateful we already have an Arbiter of Truth— and that He has told us all we need to know about the good life right in His Word. All we have to do is follow Him, and in so doing, we will one day hear those precious words, “well done, good and faithful servant.”

Maybe I’m just getting to “that” age, but maybe it’s also that there’s a lot of death because there’s a lot of people and we know a whole lot more than we used to about all the ways all the people in all the places are dying.

So, this Lent, for these 40 days leading up to Easter, I’m considering life in view of death. Jesus set his face toward Jerusalem— which means He was headed to the reality of death by Roman crucifixion. He knew what was coming. He literally lived to die. Facing the reality of the Cross, Jesus said, “For this purpose I have come to this hour” (John 12:27). Death didn’t come for Jesus, Jesus came for death.

What are you facing today? Everyone I know is facing something…and some are facing death. I am reminded here of Daniel 9:3 which reads, “Then I turned my face to the Lord God, seeking him by prayer and pleas for mercy with fasting and sackcloth and ashes.”

Whatever you’re facing, including death, are you facing it with your face turned to the Lord God? Are you seeking Him by prayer and pleading for Him for mercy? Are you approaching God in this season with fasting and sackcloth and ashes? Okay, maybe not the actual sackcloth, but you get the point.

We don’t like to talk about death in our culture but death is real and really coming. So, how do you live between here and there?

And, more importantly, where and with whom do you intend to live on the other side of death? Yes, there’s life on the other side of death! In fact, the life on the other side of death is the real life, eternal life, full life. Or, at least it is for some. So how do you know you’re going to live, really live, on the other side of death? Well, you don’t make a deal with the devil! Quite the contrary! You avail yourself of the offer God makes, the invitation God extends, the certain hope beyond death of a life worthy of Christ.

We could talk about a lot of things during Lent but ultimately we have to get around to talking about ultimate things: life and death.

On Ash Wednesday you may have heard people say or refer to momento mori, it literally means, “remember death.” Remember, that from dust you have come and to dust you shall return. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” as they say… But then what? There’s a lifetime beyond this life and it is eternal. No matter how long the life you live here in this mortal flesh endures - 16, 60, or 96 years— it is still like the blink of an eye compared to eternity.

So, let’s live during Lent with our faces turned toward Jerusalem, considering the Cross, and the death Jesus lived to die so we might live. And then, let us live with the kind of courage and love and generosity and forgiveness that flows through the lives of people possessed of the knowledge that death has lost its sting. Death itself has died. That’s the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. That’s the hope of glory. That’s the real life awaiting us on the other side of death.

Let us live this Lent with our faces turned to the Lord, seeking Him by prayer with pleas of mercy, in full view of the Cross—and the empty tomb.

Carmen

Recent posts:

• Bringing the Mind of Christ to bear on the Epstein Files: Evil is being exposed and what is done in darkness, no matter who you are, and no matter how long you think you’re getting away with, it will be brought to the light.

• Guarding God’s Word in a Polarized Age: When political activism text-jacks Scripture, what do we do? How we can identify the misuse of the Bible in the public square, and how we can avoid doing it ourselves.

• Spotlight Interview with Dave Buehring: Helping Your Spouse Live Their Calling: I spoke with my friend Dave on how we tend to our spouse’s calling, as well as our shared calling in marriage.

Dave Buehring is the founder and president of Lionshare Leadership Group, an organization dedicated to equipping disciples to fulfill the Great Commission throughout all vocations where they work.

In this conversation we discuss, what is marriage? How does God intend for marriage to be pursued? How does he pursue his wife, Cheryl? They’ve been married a while, what does that look like now? What are the planning or the prayer or the practices of Dave and his wife?

Our hope is not to provide a formula, or a set of rules— but just to let you listen in as two friends discuss what it looks like to love our spouses and encourage them in the call God specifically gave them, and provide some real-life examples of how to strengthen marriage in different seasons of life.

This is a slightly edited transcript, for clarity. You can listen to the entire interview online or wherever you get podcasts:

Carmen: I feel confident that in some way you and Cheryl celebrated Valentine’s Day.

Dave: Oh, we did and it was awesome. This is Cheryl’s perspective. So we’ve been married 43 years and this is her vantage point. She says, our anniversary, which is December 4th is a really important our day, but Valentine’s Day still lets me know that I’m your sweetheart. That’s kind of how it plays out in my home.

Carmen: I love that. So Jim and I decided that instead of buying new seven or $8 cards this year, we would dig out the cards we’ve given each other over the last, we’ll be celebrating 15 years in May. And so dig out the last 14 or so years of cards. And we each selected four or five in my case, and we read them back to each other and said, these words are still true today. I am glad I said it then. And these are still true. I still mean these same things today.

It took the pressure off of, I mean, I don’t know about you, maybe after 43 years you have new words, but 14 years in, I’m like, I kind of, out of words, I’m certainly out of new words. So let’s talk about marriage from your perspective. What is it?

Dave: Well, I think it’s a commitment between a husband and wife that they make for a lifetime to walk together, to love each other, to, I also really believe that a big part of marriage is me looking for a way to help my wife fulfill the purposes of God for her life and for her to do the same with me that we both recognize, all right, here’s what God’s called us to be. And we help each other do that. And so we kind of have this viewpoint when I’m helping younger leaders, particularly as they’re getting ready to be married or newly married, is to help them recognize that when you’re married, there’s really three callings that you tend, there’s her calling before God, there’s his calling before God, and then there’s our calling before God. So Cheryl and I recognize there’s things God’s given her that I need to come alongside and help her steward and serve vice versa with me. But then there’s certain things that we are called to do together, and that is often I think a freeing way to look at it. I run into couples that feel like, no, we need to do everything together. It is like yes and no.

There’s certain gifts I have that I need to steward, certain gifts Cheryl has, she needs to steward. But then there’s certain things that God calls us to together. And so none of that is in any kind of independent from each other. I do what I can. I feel a responsibility before the Lord to help Cheryl fulfill her call, and she does for me. And then there’s certain things that we know. These are things God’s actually asked us to do together.

Carmen: So maybe you could describe, if you’re listening right now, Dave is helping us just think through and talk about marriage, what it is, how he and Cheryl have lived these 43 years of married life together, walking with the Lord and each other in their individual callings and in their calling together before God.

And so Dave, my guess is that you and Cheryl have talked about those individual callings and your calling together as a couple. I know that’s a conversation that Jim and I had prior to our marriage and we continue to have that conversation today. So I’m so glad that you’re talking about it this way. Is there any of that that you feel okay to share her calling, the calling of the two of you together?

Dave: So for Cheryl, she’s gifted differently than I am. Her strengths are in the, if you’re looking at spiritual gifts in Scripture, for example, she’s got the gift of help where she comes alongside, lifts a load, and so others can do what they’re called to do. She’s also got a tremendous gift of discernment where she’s able to. Sometimes we have some code language between us because oftentimes I’m pulled into meetings and pulled into things to speak or just to be present for. And so our inner code is a seven, or excuse me, an 8, 9, 10 means it’s really important that you’re here. You got to come with me of four, five sixes. It’s up to you. A 3, 2, 1 is, don’t worry about it because as a wife, she can often be pulled into a lot of the things that I’m doing because people kind of have expectations for her being there.

So we’ve just decided, look here, let’s decide based on what I’m sensing your need to be there is. And she’s always got the freedom a hundred percent to be there if she wants to. But oftentimes she’ll look at me, is this something I should be at, something I could be at or something I don’t need to be at? So that lets her focus on her strengths while she’s also willing to come and contribute with mine. She’s also an artist, so she’s got kind of her art stuff. She’s also got a little hospitality stuff she does. She creates the environment and things that we do with the Lionshare that lets people come in, get a cup of coffee, some food in their hand, communication with each other and they feel comfortable by the time I begin to kind of dive in. So that’s kind Cheryl, she’s got that.

And then my side is more leadership, public communication, speaking, writing, that kind of thing. And so we attend each other. So with the Lionshare Leadership Group, there’s specific roles that she has. She’s walked with me through the whole, this is our 25th anniversary year, so she’s walked with me through the pioneering of all that. She knows all the history of it. So she’s doing our history table at our 25th celebration in May. And so she comes alongside of me. I come alongside of her with her artwork. I’m not Mr. Wiz when it comes to technology, but I could for a season do a Wix or a Etsy web presence for her where she doesn’t like to do that or know how I can say I can figure that out and do that where for me, she’ll come alongside. And like yesterday I spoke at her church and she said, no, I want to be there. Both services, I want to be present with you. And so we look for ways to come alongside each other when it relates to our gifts that way.

Carmen: That’s so good. I am taking notes. I resonate with everything that you have said to this point. And I also think that there are those of us who, I mean we might be as old as you but are not, our marriage is not as seasoned as yours. And so there are certainly things for us to learn from you in this conversation. I’m thinking here about myself and my marriage that there is always growth to be had. There’s always pruning to be experienced. God actually has an intent for marriage and every marriage, each marriage and every marriage. And so it just felt a helpful conversation or a conversation would be helpful today, and that’s certainly proving true.

So when you think about marriage, Dave, how does God intend marriage to be pursued? Or maybe how does God intend you to pursue your wife in marriage? Do you see what I’m getting at there? Yeah. What are we supposed to be doing?

Dave: I do, yeah. I would have a similar value system based on our years together of just health. You want health in marriage. And so one of the ways that I look at this, I have to make it practical. I think as a guy, oftentimes men, how do I do this? And then once they know how to do that, they can put it into practice. And so for me, there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 different fronts that I mentally tend my wife. So what I mean by that is, and I’ll kind of do a scale thing, so I’ll kind of do a one to 10, 10 being she’s really good there now to one, not so much. So here’s what I mean. So I try to do this. If I can do it weekly, it’s a huge win. Alright, how is my wife doing spiritually? So what I mean by that is knowing the condition of her walk with Jesus, the place of people encouraging her, growing her own friendship with God, her walk in obedience, that kind of thing.

And so it’s like, how’s Cheryl doing spiritually this week? One to 10 scale. Alright, the second one is emotional and for guys, this is something we need to learn to pay attention to, but knowing the condition of your spouse’s heart and emotions so that I can, whether it’s comfort or strengthen. And so this week she’s leaving tomorrow for some time away with a friend for about five days. And I know emotionally just reading her, she’s got both excitement of going and a little bit of, not dread at all, but excitement of going along with just all that goes with packing the bag and the airport and with a plane light beyond time. And so I’m aware of that this week. So I’m trying to pay attention. How can I help her? Third one is mentally knowing what’s weighing on her mind. So whether it’s I can help carry that burden in prayer or help encourage and impart peace, but I have to know what’s on her mind physically knowing the condition of her physical wellbeing, her overall health, her rest need for refreshment, that kind of thing.

The fifth one is relationally knowing the condition of her relationships. Is she spending more time with healthy life-giving friends, or is she finding herself in the weeds of just day-to-day ministry where she’s helping pulling people out of difficult times and passing on wisdom, but it can have its wear on you. So it’s kind of being aware of how she’s doing there. And the last one I just call Destiny, it’s knowing her call. How is she doing from that? Is she drifting from that? Am I being her biggest fan and her prayer warrior with that? So those are six areas that I feel like as a husband I can be very practical with. And of course she can do those same things for me.

Carmen: That’s so good. On the relational list, I am finding, I just have a rising recognition of the generational demands. So it’s not just the condition of my relationships with my friends. And yes, those people who I liked the language of, they kind of pull on you because you are a wisdom person and you’ve taught me that I’m a wisdom person now. And so I allow that pulling to take place. But then I also, I’ve got parents who need attention. I have a sister who needs attention. I’ve got kids who need attention. I have grandkids who need attention. And so relationally, when I think about myself and Jim, and I think about everybody over Valentine’s weekend, everybody needed somebody to keep their kids for some portion of time so that they could have a time with their Valentine. Which meant that Valentine’s for us was last night, which is totally fine. Other people needed us to make it possible for Saturday, Friday night, Saturday, Saturday night to be their time. So I think that particularly those of us who are maybe mature, not only in our faith but also mature in our marriages, we get it that you can carve out that time with each other anytime Valentine’s Day matters. I so appreciate your perspective on that and Cheryl’s perspective on that. But there’s also the freedom of letting that date float depending on what’s going on in your life. Yeah,

Dave: Yeah. Yep. Unless you have a spouse where the date is particularly important. I have that. So it’s like Cheryl really values us celebrating her birthday on her birthday things. But again, see that’s me having to know mentally and emotionally what that means to her. And we’re in a season too where our kids are out, they’re grown, and so we have a little bit more freedom. But tonight we’re spending time with our kids, our grandkids, because our son and daughter-in-law are going out for Valentine’s. And it might’ve been because by the time they got to planning, all the restaurants were booked or the price of flowers and chocolate today is way less.

Dave: Yeah. We got grandkid time tonight, which will be great for us so that my son and daughter-in-law can go do their Valentine. So I agree. There’s just flexibility there and it’s being dialed into your spouse to recognize what’s important to them.

Carmen: I love that. And I love that what’s important to your spouse and what’s important to my spouse are going to be different. We’re going to arrive at different answers to those questions, and that’s okay. Like, Hey, Dave and Carmen are not giving marriage advice here that tells you you have to go do it this way. Dave, any final thoughts here as we’re just talking openly about this subject today?

Dave: Yeah, I mean I think there has to be intentionality to it just like you and Jim were, how you did your Valentine’s card exchange of pulling out some of the greatest hits. And it’s the intentionality, and I think that’s something that can sneak up on us is if I could use the word familiarity, we forget our, we know Jesus is our first love, and the Bible tells us not to forget our first love. But we also, I think in our relationships with our spouse, you got to go back to your first love. And Cheryl likes, there was some marriage event we went to a number of years ago that she really valued and she said, I remember when they said the thing that attracted you first and loudest to your spouse becomes in marriage often the greatest challenge she would tell you if she was on with us today.

She said, Dave, one of the things I admired about you is the way you related so well to people, and I admired your leadership, but she says, now, as a spouse, it’s like, I see how much you can be pulled on by people and I am ready to depart the gathering and you could be here another hour. And so she said, it doesn’t cause any less value that I had when I saw you and we first met when we were 22, 23 years of age, and I saw those things in you. And she said, I still value them in you. But she said those things can become a challenge because, and so the person who taught us that at some wedding seminar, that was very good. It left some good food for thought for us both because otherwise if you don’t recognize that, then it can become familiar. And it’s, oh, and Cheryl remembers, no, these are things I admired about him and obviously other people do too. And just as the spouse, it sometimes means that I have to just say, you know what? I think I’m going to head out. I’ll meet you at home. And my response is, okay, honey, thank you for being with me. I’ll see him a little bit. So you learned to lay your life down for each other and help each other in the midst of those times, but it takes intentionality.

Carmen: Yeah. You have me thinking about Joseph and the things that attracted him to Mary and he was like, I love that she loves the Lord. I love that she’s open to doing whatever the Lord calls her to do. I love that she’s spiritually sensitive. I love that she kind of ponders things in her heart. I love those things about Mary and then what that actually means in real life and how God had to work on him a little bit. I mean, he’s proven so faithful. I love Joseph.

But when I think about marriage and I think about the individual calling of two people, like where you started this conversation, it’s her calling, his calling and then our calling or their calling together. And I think we could use biblical examples like that. We could use Zechariah and Elizabeth, we could use faithful marriages where they are good examples of her calling, calling their calling together and how God works that out over time all the way home to the father’s house. That would be where I want to land. This plane marriage is all the way home to the father’s house.

Brother, thank you so much. What a joy to visit with you today. Blessings on you and Cheryl as she travels. And yeah, we love you and appreciate your presence here on The Reconnect.